The canine species is loyal and loving, intelligent and well, quite frankly a little goofy!
What better way to pay attribute to man’s best friend than enjoying a few laughs in the finest way possible; with the best dog jokes!
These pooches fill our hearts with joy and our faces with smiles so why not add a little laughter to the mix too?
Whether you’re trying to impress someone, or just a little dog mad, we have the perfect collection of dog jokes just for you.
Please enjoy our fine selection of cheesy, punny and a little bit clever dog jokes.
We are paw-sitive that we will have you howling and barking with laughter by the end of this…
Top 10 Dog Jokes
- What is it called when you take a large dog out on a walk?
A Great Dane out!
- Why are dogs terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
- Does my dog look fat to you?
No he’s just a little husky
- What do you get when you cross a dog and an abacus?
A friend you can count on
- What do dogs say to trees?
- What should you do if you find a 600 pound dog eating in your kitchen?
- What kind of dog chases anything that is red?
A bull dog!
- What dog finds everything funny?
- What do Dalmatians say when they’ve finished their dinner?
Oh that really hit the “spot”!
- What did the dog get when he multiplied 123 by 466?
The wrong answer, he is a dog
A Few Favorite Dog Jokes
Still not got your tail wagging?
Maybe our list above wasn’t enough to give you a good howl or bark?!
See below for our full list of over 50 jokes which are paw-sitively howl-worthy.
|Some More Dog Jokes…|
|What makes Chihuahuas the best bedtime story teller?|
|Because he has a short tale!|
|Why did the poor pup chase his tail every day?|
|He’s just trying to make ends meet|
|What do you call a dog that sneezes?|
|What’s a dog’s favourite vegetable?|
|What do Chihuahuas and trees both have in common?|
|They both have a lot of bark|
List of 52 Dog Jokes
What toy does every puppy want for Christmas from Santa Paws? A chew-chew train
What makes Chihuahuas the best bedtime story teller? Because he had a short tale!
Why are dogs the best baseball players? Because they run for home when they see the catcher coming
Why did the snowman call his dog “Frost”? Because he bites
Why did the poor pup chase his tail every day? He’s just trying to make ends meet
What did the dog do when he saw the Loch Ness monster? He was terrier-fied!
What do Chihuahuas and trees both have in common? They both have a lot of bark
Why did the dog go to sleep under the car? Because he wanted to wake up oily
Why did the dog stop crying when you gave him your shoe? Because it was a hush puppy
Which breed of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog because buildings can’t jump
My dog chewed up my dictionary. What should I do? Just take the words right out of his mouth
How can I stop my dog from barking in the front yard? Just put him in the backyard
Who is the famous great dog detective? Sherlock Bones
What’s a dogs favourite breakfast? Pooched eggs
Which breed of dog won the race? I don’t know but he was a real “weiner”
What does a story teller and a dog both have in common? They both have tails!
Why did the owner purchase a special collar? Because he didn’t want his dog to flea
What time is it when tens dogs chase one cat? Ten after one
One Of Our Favorite Dog Jokes
What did the flea say to his wife before going to the shops? Should we walk or just take the dog
How do you stop a dog from smelling? Cover his nose
Threw a ball for my dog last night. A bit over the top I know, but he looks great in a suit
Which dog eats without its tail? All dogs keep their tail on while eating
What do you call a dog that sneezes? Achoo-huahua
Why do Dalmatians always lose hide and go seek? Because they are always spotted
Why did the dog go to the police station? Because he wanted to know who shot his paw
What happens when a dog eats a firefly? They bark with de-light
What’s a dog’s favourite vegetable? Collie-flower!
What instruments do dogs play? The trom-bone
Did you see the dog talking to the house? No, the whole thing sounds like a dog and pony show
What happens when you cross a frog with a dog? You get a croaker spaniel
Why does a dog get so hot in summer? Because he wears a fur coat and pants too!
What kind of modelling clay do puppies use? Fi-Do!
One Of Our Favorite Dog Jokes
Why do dogs struggle to watch tv? They keep hitting paws
What happens if a dog has puppies on the side walk? She is ticketed for littering
What happens when you buy a puppy from a locksmith? As soon as he gets home, he makes a bolt for the door
What do you get when you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver
What kind of dog does yoga? Aware wolf
Name one thing a dog and a cellphone have in common They both have collar ID
What do you call a dog who loves red wine? A bordeux collie
What happens after a dog finishes obedience school? They can train for their masters
When is a dog not a dog? When it is pure bread
Why do dog groomers go to the dentist? When one of their canines is loose!
Where do dogs park their cars? In the barking lot
What do dogs say before they eat? Bone-appetite
A sign on the shop door said “Guide dogs welcome” … so I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who took my coat
My friend wants to start a dog collection So I gave him a few pointers
How come puppies don’t bark at their feet? Because its impolite to talk back to your paw!
Why aren’t dogs smooth talkers? Because everything they say is “rough”
What does a dog and a marine biologist have in common? One wags his tail and the other tags a whale
Why is a dogs nose located in the middle of his face? Because it’s his scenter
What did the puppy say when he sat on sandpaper? Ruff!
What is a dog scientists favourite thing? Barium bones!
There we have it, a carefully selected list of 67 of the best dog related jokes!
As dog lovers we known the beauty and the joy that the canine species can bring to our lives – so it is only fitting that we join them for a laugh or two.
Whether you needed a pick-me-up, a pick-up line or are plain and simply a dog lover, we hope you got some joy from our wee collection of our favorite dog jokes!
Did we miss any of your favorites? Perhaps inspire you to write your own?
Please share with us any of your thoughts below.