When your pet dies, it may seem like everything has changed in your home. Grief and paperwork may be the most common first steps. Many times after death, a person will find themselves ordering unopened cans of food, cancelling recurring reminders, and stowing all of their pets’ equipment. Memory-keeping may assist in processing these feelings, but it can only be successful if it feels personal and specific to the individual who is doing it. The idea behind memory-keeping is not to “get over” the loss as soon as possible; it is to create access to what matters most in your daily life.
Start a small archives: decide which memories you want to save and why
Gather materials before spending money or investing time in a larger archival process. Collect everything you have that is currently available and organize it digitally by creating a new folder on either your mobile device or computer and adding 20 – 50 photos of your pet showing your pet’s head, body language, expressions, etc., and include some contextual photos that show the locations and people associated with your pet’s life.
Create a short text file with basic information regarding your pet such as birthdays, nick names, quirks, and a brief description of how your pet impacted your daily life. When you eventually create a visual memory keeper (such as a printed photo book or a framed portrait) the short text file will serve as a reference.
One potential method of creating a visual memory keeper is to purchase or generate a commissioned or generated portrait style of dog art (using a few of the best selected photos). Ultimately, the archive remains the foundation of the process. More accurate results are produced by creating a more comprehensive archive.
Turn memorials into functional pieces: Place memories in areas where life occurs
Most memorials that are kept for extended periods of time are placed in storage because they do not fit the home. A practical approach is to transform memories into objects that have a place and a function in your home.
Printed photos can be used effectively in a home setting when they are made to match the dimensions of frames that are already present in your home. Rather than a single large print, consider grouping 2 – 3 small prints. By reducing the need for “that one perfect image”, this will allow you to create a group of prints that will blend in and look more natural in a lived-in area.
Another low-friction approach is to create a memory box. A memory box does not require much thought. Consider including one item that is a reminder of your pet’s presence, such as a collar tag, a favorite small toy, a handwritten note, and one printed photo. If there are multiple items that evoke positive memories of your pet, curate them. The purpose of the memory box is not to include every item, but rather a few items that consistently remind you of the happy memories of your pet.
If you have children living in your home, get their input and establish boundaries. Ask each child to contribute one drawing, one written memory, or one photo selection. By having the children involved in the creation of a memory keeper, you will create shared ownership and avoid having the memory keeper appear to be an adult project that t
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